Why I Stopped Using the Word "Network"
Your bench matters more than your network
I’ve stopped using the word “network.”
Not because it’s wrong, exactly. But because it’s misleading. It makes us think about something that doesn’t actually help.
Here’s the distinction I’ve been thinking about:
A network is people you know.
A bench is people who know you, and would vouch for you.
These are completely different things.
The Network Illusion
We’ve been trained to think about professional relationships in network terms. Grow your network. Expand your reach. Collect more connections.
The logic seems sound: more connections = more opportunities.
But that’s not how it actually works.
I’ve talked to fractional leaders with 10, 000+ LinkedIn connections who can’t fill their pipeline. And I’ve talked to fractional leaders with 500 connections who have more opportunities than they can handle.
The difference isn’t the size of the network. It’s the depth of the bench.
I think about a fractional CFO I spoke with last year. She’d built an impressive network, 8, 000+ LinkedIn connections, years of conferences, a contact list that looked like a who’s who. When a perfect opportunity came up, she reached out to dozens of people. Crickets. No one vouched. No one made the warm intro. She had a network. She didn’t have a bench.
The person who landed that engagement? Someone with maybe 400 connections, but five of them were in the room when it mattered.
What a Bench Actually Is
Think about sports for a second.
When a coach looks at their bench, they’re not counting bodies. They’re asking specific questions:
Who can I put in when it matters?
Who’s ready for the pressure?
Who’s been tested before?
Who do I trust in a tight moment?
That’s what a professional bench is too.
Your bench is the small group of people, maybe 5-10, who would go to bat for you. Not because you asked. Because they trust you.
They’d make an introduction without you requesting it. They’d recommend you for an opportunity before you even knew it existed. They’d tell someone “you should work with [your name]” with genuine conviction.
That’s not a network. That’s infrastructure.
This matters even more when you don’t have a logo behind you, a title on a door, or a permanent seat at the table. Fractional leaders live and die by the strength of their bench.
Why the Distinction Matters
When you think in network terms, you optimize for quantity. More connections, more events, more visibility.
When you think in bench terms, you optimize for depth. Fewer relationships, but deeper. More investment in the people who really matter. More trust built over time.
The math works differently than we think.
A bench of 7 people who trust you deeply will generate more opportunity than a network of 7, 000 people who vaguely know your name.
Because opportunity flows through trust, not just awareness.
The bench is faster, one text gets answered in minutes, not weeks. It’s clearer, your bench knows exactly what you’re great at and who needs it. And it’s frictionless, no positioning, no pitching, just “you should talk to my person.”
How to Build a Bench
Building a bench is different from building a network.
Networks are built through exposure. You meet people at events. You connect on LinkedIn. You’re seen in the right rooms.
Benches are built through investment. You show up when it costs you something. You give before you ask. You stay in touch when there’s nothing to gain. You tell the truth when it’s easier to be polite.
Here’s what that looks like practically:
Make introductions without being asked. When you see an opportunity to connect two people who should know each other, do it. Don’t wait for someone to ask. Don’t expect anything in return. Just create value.
Follow up when there’s no agenda. Most people only reach out when they need something. Be the person who reaches out just to check in. “I was thinking about you and wanted to see how things are going.” That builds bench relationships.
Be honest when it’s hard. The bench is built on trust. And trust is built on honesty, especially the honesty that costs you something. When you tell someone a hard truth they needed to hear, they remember.
Remember what matters to them. Their kid’s soccer game. Their big product launch. Their dad’s health situation. When you remember and ask about it later, you’re signaling: “I see you as a person, not a transaction.”
Give credit generously. When something goes well, give credit to everyone who helped. Don’t hoard it. Generous credit-giving builds bench relationships fast.
The Bench You Already Have
Here’s the good news: you probably already have a bench. You just haven’t thought about it that way.
Make a list of the 5-10 people in your professional life who:
Would take your call anytime
Would vouch for you without being asked
Have seen you do great work
Trust you enough to make introductions
That’s your bench.
Now ask: when’s the last time you invested in those relationships?
When’s the last time you reached out without needing anything?
When’s the last time you made an introduction for them?
Your bench is an asset. But like any asset, it depreciates if you don’t maintain it.
From Network Thinking to Bench Thinking
I’m not saying networks are useless. They’re not. Exposure matters. Being known matters.
But the network is where opportunities become visible.
The bench is where opportunities become real.
You need both. But if you had to choose, choose the bench.
A small, trusted bench will carry you further than a large, shallow network ever could.
So I’ve stopped asking “how can I grow my network?” and started asking “how can I deepen my bench?”
It’s a different question. And it leads to different actions.
Who’s on your bench? And when’s the last time you invested in those relationships?